India

What a day to start blogging ... my interest in India has been growing steadily over the past year and I'm now resolved to go there for a visit next year - today (or was it last night?) Slumdog Millionaire won a trillion Oscars - and so it should. I'm so happy and pleased because my friends in Mumbai are so happy and pleased (although privately I wonder at the fact that they are glorying in being, in the main, a city of slums).

I'm actually only writing this because I've just had a 'falling out' with the other half and I want somone to talk to. Actually, I feel a bit silly about it - I'm not saying it was my fault, you know, but I will already admit that at least 50% of the blame is mine. But of course, as usual, we will be silent and distant for a few hours - such a waste of what is, relatively, such short time we have left together (well, if we're lucky we might get another 40 years, but as my past relationships have had an average lifespan of 4 years and 3 months, I doubt I'm going to make the ruby anniversary mark!)

So instead, I'm sitting at the computer tapping away and listening to morose songs, and he's sitting in front of the tv watching programmes he's really not that interested in (he hates Monday night tv!)

Why do we do this? With me it's all about insecurity. I pretend not to, but I do get jealous - because I am always sure he is going to finish the relationship. Which is bizarre, because in the past, it's been me, 99% of the time, that has finished the relationship. There was only one time I was 'dumped' and even then, I think I led him to it. Men always say they will never understand how a woman's mind works; I'm not surprised, I don't even know what's going on in my own mind most of the time. I want, I crave, I positively yearn for a long-lasting loving relationship (my own parents have been married 44 years). Two tries later (and several relationships) I find I am unable to last beyond the afore-mentioned 4 years or so.

Anyway, enough. This is sounding like a right feeling sorry for myself column, when really I'm here to be witty, a comedian, a right barrel of laughs - nobody will want to 'follow me' at this rate! Ha. Maybe a joke or two, erm - what's brown and sticky ...........punchline to follow in my next blog. Bye me hearties - better go and tickle some toes and get us smiling again :)